This article is taken from Stand 235, 20(3) September - November 2022.

Alistair McCartney Handwashing Song by Richey Edwards
    for Ignaz Philipp Semmelweiss

I’ve been nervous all my life

In Popeye cartoons
Spinach comes in cans
Spinach makes you supernaturally strong

Like a song
Whose light disinfects
Wherever it shines

I’ve been nervous all my life
Now I’m just a
Little bit more nervous

Hesitate don’t hesitate
Steep me in time
Beat me until I’m gangrenous

I’m the father of antiseptic procedures

Come here, take my hand
Let me tell you all I know
About childbed fever
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